So, GameStop Had this "BE THE FIRST TO PLAY!" Call Of Duty 4 event in select states, Minnesota being one of these awesome places and the GameStop with it being like 5 minutes away from my home I went last night.

IT WAS AMAZING!

First when I'm walking into the store some Full Throttle energy drink guy is outside at the truck and offers me and my friend a free sample, I go WIN! and take one and walk into the building.

My friends go "I got RED! it taste like Jello!" "I got BLUE! it tastes like BERRY!" "I got BLACK! it tastes kinda like cola!" and finaly me who goes "I GOT GREEN! It...tastes....like...Tree Bark with a hint of dog piss?"

So after i figured this to be a bad trip and waste of my time I get in line to go play the game and continue to drink my nasty tree bark with a hint of dog urine, when the full throttle guy walks back in and goes

"OHHHH YEAAAHHH WHO WANTS ROUND 2! CAUSE ITS ALL YOU CAN DRINK! OHHH YEAAHHHHHH!"

so intrigued by not having to drink dog piss i mossy on over and ask for blue as it is blue and blue is always good.

"OMG THIS BLUE TASTES LIKE NUM NUMS!!! Y I GIT TREE BARK WITH CAT PEE AND U GIT NUM NUMS!!!!"

This is what i said to my friend who was obviously not paying attention to me as he said nothing.

Like ten seconds later some guy comes out of game stop and goes

"THE FIRST 100 PEOPLE WILL ALL GET AUTOGRAPHED COPIES OF THE GAME TONIGHT!!!!!!"

and there being only like 50-60 people there we were all piss ourselves happy as they said copies like full games, RITE?........

RONG!, It was just the box of the game the guy lied to me and made me believe him it was like Bambie all over again, I was fooled into a false sense of security by the Disney name then BAM HIS MOM DIES! (warning that is a spoiler for Bambie)

Anyways, after like 10 minutes later some guy walks out and goes

"ALLL YEAAHHHH I GOTS ME SUM POSTERS TO BE GIBIN' AWAYZ! WHO BE WANTINZ EET!?"

And starts handing out poster sets with 8 posters inside and I'm like going "OMG ME! ME PLEASE I NEED THAT GIVE IT TO ME I LIKE FREE STUFF OMG I LOOOOOVE FREE STUFF PLEASE ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!!"

and he skips me and moves on giving all my friends posters and not me so Im crying on the inside where it counts as he walks away saying

"WELL WEES HAB NO MOARS!"

And then like 2 minutes later he comes back with nothing other than MOAR! yes thats right hes a fucking liar and has a vendetta against me, FOR NO APPARENT REASON! NONE AT ALL! So this time i walk up to him and go "FUCKING LIAR, LIE!, LIELIELIELIELIE!" as i saw it on some comic page on the internets and everyone knows that if its on the internets it is like a guide to being cool, So the guy goes "oh did you want one?" so i reply "YES!" and get one.

when i finaly reach the door about 20 minutes after i got there had had drank about 8 full throttles of every flavor, I felt sick and had to pee badly. The guy inside hands me the case with nothing in it and i cry even more on the inside where it counts, and keep walking to the back of the room which is all army camp site decked out and looks awesome with comfy chairs and awesome HDTVs with 360s and COD4 single player on it.

It not being my turn I decide to walk around the tent and i run into what I call this "events" version of a booth girl, some pretty cute girl wearing army fatigues with nerf guns. Immediately ignore her as she is not of my interests and Notice the COD4 hats and watter bottles on the table by her and start taking them thinking they were free, my friend abruptly stops me and says in the gayest unmanliest voice i've ever hurd

"UMMM I DONT THINK THOSE ARE
FREE....NOMNOMNOMMMMMMmmmMMcocksMMMMtheytastesog oodmmMMMMMMNOMNOMNOMS"

I of course ignore him and start trying on my newly obtained swag when the booth gurl was all like "Those aren't free silly you have to win them" i respond "EXPLAIN THIS "WIN" YOU SPEAK OF!?" i guess she thought i was joking as she half laughed and explained the facade they called a game.

apparently you had to shoot the cardboard army guy with a Velcro points vest on him to win the goods, Intrigued by the goods i Demanded to play. she hands me and my friend the nerf guns and informs us of the line at our feet to stay behind.

I shoot, it hits the guy in the head and i yell "HEADSHOT YES I WIN! HES SLAIN!" apparently i had to hit his chest to win and his head meant nothing even though thats totally how you kill a man. my friend his the guy barely on the point thing by accident and gets swag, no enraged as this even had been nothing but HAYT on me i played again with my other friend this time.

same thing happens only i hit the vest but the gun is broken and sucks or something cause i have great aim it was the gun not me i didn't loose the game did. this goes on for again and again im swagless the girl then goes "well since your cute you can have a prize for free" i make a noise of glee as i think in my head "About time i needs me my swag!" and rush over to the super sway COD4 hat.

then I got play the game which was fun in it's own way but this totally isn't about that this is about how i got the watter bottle, feeling kinda lame that i didn't get the watter bottle, i challenge my original Opponent to a game of wits and intrigue, then we went and played the nerf gun game again,

I TOTALLY SQUASHED HIM LIKE A TINY INSIGNIFICANT BUG!

it was magical I learned the meaning of love and got a watter bottle and it was the best day ever.